Beacher’s Madhouse, (at the Roosevelt, 7000 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles, 90028; 323.785.3036) is open for public previews starting Wednesday. Beneath the Roosevelt meet a sexy librarian who will stamp your newly issued library card and allow you past through the bookshelves and into a red-curtained theater. All the tables face the stage, but only one of them is a giant birdcage. Yes, a birdcage. Oh wait, did I mention the midget bar? Before the stage features the contortionists, impersonators and beautiful women who’ve misplaced much of their wardrobe visit the Midget Bar (It says it in red neon letters). But if you would like to just stay seated, your bartender will strap into a track on the ceiling and fly your beverage across the theater to you.